Narrative Writing - Describing a Setting

Byron wrote:
Drip, drip, splash, the slurping slimy substances on the jagged sharp rocks slides slowly down the sides of the boxed-in cave. Howling winds drive closer with the wet translucent mist in the cold shivering cave. The musty smell of fungus and mold override your nose. Feelings of loneliness and abandonment run through your body like a snake stalking it's prey.

Timothy wrote:
I carefully and silently walked in the darkness of the putrid cave. I sniffed the toxic air of the rigid house of rocks and boulders. I kept walking into the dark abyss, there was no going back!